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By Kevin at GodsDandruff.com | July 3, 2008

Do We “Deserve” to be happy?

I made the statement to Krislinatin that people deserve to be happy. She disagreed. It was then I realized that most Christians I know would recoil at the idea we deserve happiness.

So I thought I would defend my thinking and hopefully help some people who are miserable Christians find a little bit less misery.

I have a daily prayer/affirmation/mantra/none-of-the-above that goes like this:

Help me to do the things today that provide the greatest long-term happiness and fulfillment for me, my family, my friends, my community and my world.

Many Christians struggle with the idea of pursuing personal happiness because they believe one or more of these:

  • Happiness is found by sinning - or worse, happiness is ONLY found by sinning
  • Pursuing happiness is purposeless and God wants me to only do things with a Kingdom purpose
  • Happiness is a limited commodity and the more of it “I” have the less others around me will have
  • Happiness is selfish
  • Jesus wasn’t happy so we shouldn’t be happy
  • The more miserable I am the closer I am to God
  • God doesn’t want me to be happy or to pursue happiness

What do you think? Did you ever or do you believe some of these to be true? Why?

18 comments | Add One

  1. Kristina - 07/4/2008 at 3:16 pm

    you beat me to the punch, i was just writing a post about this and googled it and your site came up!!!!
    I don’t believe any of those bullet points, BTW.
    except:
    *pursuing happiness can be and should be a Kingdom purpose.
    *happiness ‘can’ be selfishness.
    remember i focused on the word ‘deserve’, as i cruise the internet i think the word deserve should be changed to …something else.
    i haven’t come up with it yet, tho.
    Maybe once we realize what it is that makes us happy, it should then be aligned with God, or maybe we get happy about the wrong things (i’m just thinking out loud.)
    check back, i am writing a post about it.
    Kristina
    Thank you for making me think :)

  2. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/4/2008 at 3:54 pm

    If you believe we are created by God in his image, then the definition of “deserve” falls under “by situation.” Otherwise we deserve to be happy as creations in the image of God.

    And I think when you look at your thinking honestly, you DO believe at least one of those bullet points: You do believe happiness is selfishness.

    What else could your comment mean?

    And about pursuing happiness being a Kingdom purpose…isn’t the Kingdom about God wanting to make us happy?

  3. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/4/2008 at 4:04 pm

    Maybe a better question is this:

    What about the Bible, God or Christianity leads you to believe that as God’s creation he doesn’t want you to be happy?

  4. Abyssal - 07/6/2008 at 6:03 am

    I’m gonna have to side with Kev on this one.

    That is all. :)

  5. Scott - 07/7/2008 at 5:34 pm

    C. S. Lewis has an essay in his book “God in the Dock” entitled “We Have No Right to Happiness,” in which Lewis warns us that the continual pursuit of happiness as an ultimate goal will result in an unnatural affection for something that will eventually sweep us away.

    I think I would probably argue that most Christians idea of “happiness” is not very Christian, and most likely far from God’s. For this version of “happiness” watch Oprah or Joel Osteen, or read the Secret.

    I would highly suggest to anyone to also read Lewis” “The Problem of Pain” where he talks about our incorrect notions of love and happiness. Some of his best work I think.

    The end of chapter 3:

    When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. Those Divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshall us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted. He demands our worship, our obedience, our prostration. Do we suppose that they can do Him any good, or fear, like the chorus in Milton, that human irreverence can bring about “His glory’s diminution”? A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word “darkness” on the walls of his cell. But God wills our good, and our good is to love Him (with that responsive love proper to creatures) and to love Him we must know Him: and if we know Him, we shall in fact fall on our faces. If we do not, that only shows that what we are trying to love is not yet God—though it may be the nearest approximation to God which our thought and fantasy can attain. Yet the call is not only to prostration and awe; it is to a reflection of the Divine life, a creaturely participation in the Divine attributes which is far beyond our present desires. We are bidden to “put on Christ,” to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want. Once more, we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment, by too much love, not too little.

    Yet perhaps even this view falls short of the truth. It is not simply that God has arbitrarily made us such that He is our only good. Rather God is the only good of all creatures: and by necessity, each must find its good in that kind and degree of the fruition of God which is proper to its nature. The kind and degree may vary with the creature’s nature: but that there ever could be any other good, is an atheistic dream. George Macdonald, in a passage I cannot now find, represents God as saying to men “You must be strong with my strength and blessed with my blessedness, for I have no other to give you.” That is the conclusion of the whole matter. God gives what He has, not what He has not: He gives the happiness that there is, not the happiness that is not. To be God—to be like God and to share His goodness in creaturely response—to be miserable—these are the only three alternatives. If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows—the only food that any possible universe ever can grow—then we must starve eternally.

  6. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/8/2008 at 10:25 am

    Scott,

    Thanks for the comment. See, that education is going you some good.

    I believe my philosophy of why we do what we do is far different than Lewis’–though I haven’t read the Problem of Pain in 20+ years.

    I became a Christian because, based on who I am and what I had experienced, I could do no other. I pursue happiness because as a Christian I can do no less and I pursue long-term and community happiness because that’s who I am.

    If the Bible is correct in that we bear fruit according to the type of tree we are, then Christians will bear Christian fruit–they can do no other.

    Helping people find deep-seated happiness is what God did in Christ, no? When the church shares the Gospel are we not sharing a path to happiness?

    I personally believe Christians spend way too much mental energy trying to please a God that tells us he’s already pleased, alleviate guilt for acts already past and forgiven and make pointless sacrifice when there is no pay off except self-flagellation.

    Is God pleased by my suffering? No. I do not believe he is. Is God pleased when I choose (because it makes me happier) to lay down my “life” for others? Yes, because God loves a CHEERFUL giver–one who gets jacked about giving sacrificially.

    Is God glorified or pleased when we sacrifice because we think he’s mad at us? Or to look good to out peers?

    No, it’s just dysfunctional.

    My two cents.

  7. Abyssal - 07/9/2008 at 10:50 am

    If the Bible is correct in that we bear fruit according to the type of tree we are, then Christians will bear Christian fruit–they can do no other.

    Then what value does it have? If Christians don’t have any option they don’t deserve any credit- you might as well praise a rock for rolling downhill or a raindrop for falling from a cloud.

    And conversly, if the Christians’ fruit isn’t to their own credit than neither is the sins of the sinners. You might as well get mad at the sun for shining. You can’t condemn people for acting in one way when they don’t have an alternative.

    I find that atitude rather frightening, Kev. It robs goodness of its goodness and evil of its evil. It sounds more Taoist than Christian.

  8. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/9/2008 at 12:45 pm

    Aby,

    Go read Rom 9-11 and get back to me.

    Edit: That sounds too flippant. It wasn’t meant to be. It is exactly where Paul goes into great detail about how God is responsible for creating those with hard hearts, etc.

    The natural question this brings up is: Who is God to judge us for who can resist his will?

    Paul’s answer: Don’t ask questions.

    Maybe Paul was a Taoist.

  9. Abyssal - 07/9/2008 at 11:13 pm

    I’m familiar with that piece of scripture. Unfortunately.

    Don’t you think that those chapters contradict the ideas underlying the entire Bible up to that point? I mean, God deciding our actions in advance sorta makes the idea of all those laws He gave us seem pretty stupid, doesn’t it?

    The only thing crazier than that would be if God demanded for us to repent for Him making us break His laws so that He’d forgive us for His forcedly making us break those laws when only He can make us repent for His originally causing us to break those laws in the first place! Oh wait, wouldn’t that be most of the New Testament?

    I mean, say what you will about the questionable morality of that passage (God is being responsible for our evil actions? God will damn people even if they struggle to be good?), but you have to admit that it just doesn’t fit at all with the rest of the Bible. Nothing in the Bible makes any sense in the light of that passage. NOTHING.

    And consequently I’m surprised you stick by it. You’ve acknowledged being an errantist in the past, so why hold true the one single passage in the Bible that throws absolutely EVERYTHING out of whack?

    You’ve flummoxed me, Kev, you really have.

  10. Kristina - 07/10/2008 at 11:29 am

    And I think when you look at your thinking honestly, you DO believe at least one of those bullet points: You do believe happiness is selfishness.
    *I believe happiness CAN be selfishness, but not always.

    And about pursuing happiness being a Kingdom purpose…isn’t the Kingdom about God wanting to make us happy?
    *Nope, i think the kingdom of God is about God wanting us to obey, love and enjoy Him forever.
    And that should make us happy.
    Still working on my post…..

  11. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/12/2008 at 5:46 am

    Aby explaining determinism is a whole ‘nother thread.

    If Romans was not written by Paul or if 9-11 wasn’t written by Paul, then I would have a point saying “this isn’t Paul writing.”

    But there is no evidence that is the case.

    So, while I allow for the possibility that passages were added or redacted from the Bible, the real question is whether Paul, the architect of Christianity, wrote Rom 9-11 (whether inspired or not.)

    Yes, I believe he did.

    If he did, then with his understanding of both Judaism and Christianity he felt this was consistent with what he believed to be true.

  12. Abyssal - 07/12/2008 at 11:51 am

    So you DO support that kind of calvinsm/determinism/predestination/whatever? Well, maybe you should start that thread.

    I’m really curious as to how God-makes-us-do-evil-then-damns-us-for-it and God-is-all-good-and-wants-everyone-to-go-to-heaven can be reconciled.

    If I’m understanding your position correctly, then, well, I’m not understanding, if you get what I mean.

  13. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/12/2008 at 2:37 pm

    Aby,

    I’ll start a thread once my sprained knuckle heals. I am having to hunt and peck with my left hand.

  14. Kristina - 07/24/2008 at 2:08 pm

    wait, you sprained your knuckle, really? how?
    was wondering why you were so quiet.
    you’re not quiet, just a bit crippled.
    hope its better, Kristina

  15. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/24/2008 at 3:17 pm

    If I told you how I sprained it nobody would believe me…

  16. Abyssal - 07/24/2008 at 11:00 pm

    I dunno, we’re a credulous bunch there, Kev. You might just be able to pull it off. :P

  17. Kevin at GodsDandruff.com - 07/25/2008 at 11:06 am

    I was working in a missionary position…on a waterbed with my redhead and hyperextended my middle finger.

  18. Abyssal - 07/27/2008 at 9:33 pm

    Ouch, what a buzzkill.

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