Sex, Birthdays and Jehovah’s Knockers
[Note: I am trying not to ignore this blog. I’m still breaking in the butt groove, and I appreciate those of you who have mostly patiently waited for me to do my monkey dance and entertain you. Well, the monkey’s gonna dance a little this morning.]
Thanks to Kevin Kolack.
Thursday was my birthday. XLV. (That’s Roman Numeral Lingo for 45–ladies take note: When asked your age you can always answer in Roman numerals–what? XXIX again?) My redhead got me some special pictures. And, no, you cannot see them–or at least not most of them. I will show you a shot from my camera phone of my new desktop image–it’s sufficiently blurry so she won’t be embarrassed. You can compare it with the old desktop image here.
It was also Justin’s XXV and Lou FCD’s Jane (guessing XXIX is always safe.)
Last Saturday I heard a knock at the door and was surprised to see a matched set of Jehovah’s Knockers in the flesh. No, I don’t mean there was a crew here filming a “Gods Gone Wild” video, it was a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses. They stopped by to chat. They were nervous when I instantly invited them in, but they quickly realized I am just a big, loving, stud-muffin teddy-bear.
Our talk was actually pretty cool. They are a married couple, he teaches physics at a near-by High School and she teaches Middle School math. They were mostly rational and were able to question some of their own beliefs when I pointed out some problems with those beliefs.
I don’t really have an agenda for them to believe something different than they do–which I guess is some growth for me–but it was kewl to talk about faith to someone who wasn’t completely closed minded.
They left me with a book to read. I find it interesting that in order to evangelize in one of the most illiterate parts of the Estados Unidos they bring a book. To read. But I digress.
The book was pretty interesting. No sugar coating what they believe. 144,000 is all that’s goin’ to heaven baby. Everyone else is just either left to paradise on earth or is zapped with God’s cosmic incinerator beam. As in “no eternal fire”, just annihilation.
I figure based on my past behavior I am in the top 100K or so, so I gots nothin’ to worry about yo.
One thing I did find interesting about the book was its use of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Language (often called “NLP”). NLP was initially developed to help people in counseling overcome major issues quickly. Over the years it has been expanded and used in all sorts of situations. One of them is in creating persuasive language to get people to think or believe certain thoughts.
“These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Yeah, like that.
In persuasion a simple explanation works something like this: You develop empathy with the reader (”as you sit reading this…”), identify the negative emotion he is experiencing (”you will be tempted to think this isn’t true…”), then tie it to the emotional response you want him to have (”but as you read on you will discover this is exactly what the Bible teaches.”)
A note for NLP buffs: As you read that last paragraph you were probably thinking my explanation lacked enough precision and was slightly misleading, but you as you ponder it you realize it is a pretty good explanation to give a layman a picture of NLP.
Many people will occasionally and without intent to manipulate use NLP tactics even when they have never even heard of them. That may be the case with this book. It may be the person who wrote it simply has a persuasive style.
Side Note about NLP: I have wanted to try writing in an NLP style first person narrative fiction about a serial killer. I thought it would be interesting to see if you could create a completely heinous and irremediable character that, through the use of subtle NLP, was seen with complete empathy by the reader. “Don’t you see? He HAD to decapitate and eat her? It wasn’t his fault.” Unfortunately when it comes to fiction I am but a Padawan, Elise is the Jedi.
Getting back to our story…
So Jehovah’s Knockers are supposed to come back. They even got my phone number–though they didn’t give me theirs. Hmmmm. I’ll probably write some more in my continuing saga of How I Handled Jehovah’s Knockers. Stay tuned.
Oh, and about the sex…I just put that in the title so you would read this. Sucker.
Thanks, your Whoreliness. (Sorry. i just love calling you that.)
elise
Yes, I agree. I always enjoy elise’s writing. She is quite the master.
Now, the average Joe might tend to feel that she couldn’t be so masterful or she wouldn’t be writing in her particular genre, but a careful and open minded reading of any of her stories will show that in fact, she’s quite a wonderful mistress of fiction.
I have to wonder though Kevin, if the JWs at your door were using the exact same technique in their verbal discussion with you.
Develop the empathy and rapport, identify the negative reaction, then connect them to the emotional response you want to elicit.
We’d need more explicit details of the conversation to evaluate, but perhaps you can reach back in your memory banks and pull it out, even if you don’t share it here.
I am a Geonosian and I am immune to their Jedi mind tricks.
No worries there Lou. I got them off script pretty quickly and got them thinking about issues they hadn’t considered before. At one point–when I suggested that Prov 31 “commands” God’s people to give beer and wine to those in trouble so they could get drunk–the husband almost got up and stormed out. I suspect he previously had alcohol issues–probably a parent.
The reason I wanted to see them again–and the reason I read their little book–was because they actually didn’t stick to a “party line” but were willing to admit they didn’t know about several issues and weren’t sure why my understanding was incorrect.
But I don’t have a big agenda for them any more than I have one for you. I find honest discussion to be beneficial and growth-producing. I believe if I have an agenda (meaning I can’t be OK unless they respond in a certain way) then I don’t grow and they end up being alienated.
If we talk more and they see some of the silly things they are being taught as if they were fact, maybe they will learn to think more objectively about their faith. Maybe not, but either way I get my thinking honed again.
‘Bout time you started writing again.
My guess is that they will return with an elder.
I had fun playing around with the JW’s for a bit; especially, taking out a Greek NT and showing them what the original Greek language looked like and debunking their little “g” gods theory. A couple of elders came back with them after that one.
Anyways, when they come back now I tell them I will sit down with them and talk about anything they want to for as long as they want to, and I will read anything they give me BUT they have to read something I give them. They politely decline (because they are not allowed) and leave, and my life returns to normal… JW free.
Scott,
Thanks for the comment and for stopping by.
They came back yesterday. Or, at least, TJ did. His wife was AWOL, but he did bring Cy with him–an older gentleman.
They left with more questions than anything else. It was surprising to me–though it shouldn’t have been–how well Cy knew portions of the Bible yet was ignorant of any passages that contradicted his beliefs.
I’m still naive like that.